Sunny and the Moon
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My favorite place in the whole castle is the library. It’s one of the many things that makes me like my mom. We share the same brown hair with light waves and the same hazel eyes. Dad, Mom, and I all have the same light skin most people in France have. That’s pretty much the only feature I share with my dad, except for maybe a little of his nose, though his is more narrow.
Mom and Dad built a second nursery in the library about a month before I was born. Mom wanted a place to read me bedtime stories and sing me lullabies that was closer to her favorite place, since the Princess Suite is on the opposite side of the castle. It’s on the third floor of the east side, while the library is on the first floor of the west side. They also felt a lot more comfortable having the nursery closer to their room. Ten years later, it's still my favorite place to be. I spend more time here than in my actual bedroom.
A few years ago, my parents let me turn the nursery into my own personal reading corner since I’ve gotten bigger. I started with having the walls removed so that I could view the rest of the library and know when someone else is here. I’ve never liked tight spaces or being sneaked up on. The crib and old window were taken out and replaced with a bay window. The changing table was replaced with a nightstand, which is normally tidy. However, it’s currently a bit cluttered with a bottle of water, a cup of hot chocolate gone cold, my glasses case, my next book for when I’m done with this one, and a lamp to help me see since the library is dim.
A box of tissues usually sits on the nightstand, but I emptied that a while ago and haven’t bothered getting a new one yet. The trash can that sits next to the nightstand is the same one from when I was a baby, but I painted it with sunflowers and roses a couple of weeks ago. I have a box of dog toys and other supplies on the other side of my trash can for easy access when my little white mutt, Leora, is in here with me.
I have two taller bookshelves on either side of the smaller one from my childhood. The bookshelves are square to the left side of the window. My dad had them bolted to the floor so that they could safely stand, since there’s no wall behind them. My nightstand does the same thing on the right side so it gives the illusion of having walls without being completely blocked off from the rest of the library. The only thing attached to a wall in my little corner of the library is the bay window with its seat.
When the walls were removed, the Royal Stained-Glass Glazier, Walter Disnee, made a stained glass window with a portrait of me, Mom, Dad, and Leora. When the window was made, she was small enough to fit perfectly in my tiny arms. My mom had the portrait done for my fifth birthday, so I still look super little in it. Maybe I’ll ask Mom and Dad for a new one with me and my friends for my next birthday.
Thinking about my friends reminds me of the book in my hand. My best friend, Amber, recommended it to me. I forgot that I was holding it for a second, so I go back to reading it, trying to focus on the story. My book, along with my thoughts, help distract me from what’s been happening around the castle.
Over the past five days, the library has been filled with people coming in and out fixing up the place and triple checking that all shelves are secure. I keep waiting for Mom to walk in, but it’s never her. I’m reminded once again that she can’t even come to her favorite place because of my stupid mistake.
The sound of heavy footsteps echoing against the hardwood floor pulls me out of my book, and everything going on in my head. I know who it is without even having to look up. “Hi Dad.”
“Hey, Sunny. Sorry to disturb you from your book. I just needed to grab your mom’s favorite.” I peek around enough to see him grab the blue book from Mom’s special shelf. Dad is really tall so he doesn’t have to reach far even though it’s on the top shelf. I know the book always cheers her up, so I’m surprised it’s in the library, and not already in her room.
Dad’s usual blue suit is wrinkled, like he hasn’t changed it in days. It always looks like that though, even after laundry days. Mom teases him about it a lot.
“How’s she doing?” I ask, hoping my guilt doesn’t show too much. I put my book down so I can focus better. I haven’t gotten any updates on Mom since I woke up.
“She’s going to get through this, like she always does. Though she’d get better faster if her favorite daughter would come check on her.” He winks at me, showing off his sharp teeth with a smile. His blue eyes twinkle. I’ve always loved his eyes and wish I shared more than just a nose with him. Blue is a really pretty color, and brown is kinda boring, even though Mom’s hazel eyes are really pretty. Mine are hazel as well but have more brown than green.
“I’m her only daughter.” I almost laugh, but my smile disappears as quickly as it appeared. “I know that she’s been through worse... but I don’t think I’m ready yet. Tell her I love her, and that...” I pause. I don’t really know what I want to say. “Tell her that I’m sorry.”
I go back to my book, burying my face in it so he won’t see me tear up. Everyone in the castle has been trying so hard to make me feel better, but it hasn’t really been working.
He sighs, a little disappointed, and kisses me on the head, his beard tickling me a little. I think he’s going to go back to Mom, but then he sits on the other side of Leora, who is sleeping at my feet. “Did I ever tell you why your mom chose the name Sunny for you?” he asks, setting Mom’s book down on his lap.
I shake my head, putting my book down curiously, the tears nearly forgotten. “I didn’t know Mom was the one who named me.”
“I helped, of course, but ultimately it was your mom’s decision.” He smiles, getting a far off look in his eyes, as if reliving a memory. “We named you Sunny because you are our light. You have been since you were born. We wanted you to remember how bright, loving, and kind you could be.”
“Really?” I ask, perking up a little before starting to deflate a bit again. I like the idea that I can be a light, but sometimes I get scared and sad. What if I mess up really big again and my mom and dad don’t like me anymore? “What if I don’t always feel sunshiny? Like when bad things happen?”
“It’s perfectly okay to be like the moon, and have dark days, but it’s important to not let that darkness consume you to the point where you only show yourself every once in a while.” He winks at me, as if to call me out for hiding in the library for the past five days. My dad winks at me a lot. It’s kind of our thing, though I still struggle with winking back.
“What about when I make a mistake?” I want to tell Dad about how everything that happened was my fault, but I don’t want him to be mad at me.
“Mistakes happen to everyone. No one person is better than the other.” He pauses. “I was taught a long time ago by your mom and all our friends that we all have to work together to make the world shine. We can’t let the fear of mistakes or not being good enough stop us from doing our part.”
I usually love my dad’s pep talks, but this time I’m too upset and hurt. “Thanks Dad, that means a lot,” I say, unconvinced but trying to be nice.
“I know it’s going to take some time. Just think about what I said.”
He waits for me to nod before heading out of the library and back to Mom in the West Wing.
My dad’s advice on the moon reminds me of my favorite story. Mom has been telling me it since I was a baby, and I still love to hear it, especially on a bad day.
Long ago, when the earth was still young, the moon had just begun to spin. He hadn’t quite figured out the best way to see the things around him like the planets and the stars. While spinning around trying to better see the universe around him he stumbled upon the sun. Amazed by the wondrous new sight, he blocked her light from reaching the earth. He quickly moved once he realized what he had done. Embarrassed by his mistake, he hid from the earth, sun, stars, and planets. Now, every once in a while, he comes out shining to his fullest potential, until he sees the sun and is reminded of his mistake, and hides again to find his strength and courage. So scared that he might outshine her, he forgets that they're meant to shine together.
The story has always been one of my favorites from her. Normally the story does help, but this time I don’t feel any better.
It’s been exactly five days, fifteen hours, and thirty-four minutes since I last saw my mom, not that I’m counting. I miss her, and still feel bad about what happened. I’m scared to go up to my parents’ room. I wish I was as brave as Mom. She was never afraid of anything, especially the West Wing.
A couple years ago, Lumiere and Mrs. Potts told me about her first time up in the Forbidden West Wing, back when my parents first met. Mom ran away when Dad lost his temper. After Dad risked his life to save her, she went back to the castle, giving up her freedom once again to return the favor. I read a lot of stories about how the princes are usually the heroes, but my mom has always been the hero to everyone around her. First she saved my grandpa, then my dad, twice– the second time also saving the entire castle and basically a whole village– and most recently... me.
Mom wanted to do some renovations in the library because some of the shelves are getting old. They were waiting to install a shorter bookshelf next to the fireplace. I started to organize a box of books onto it, not realizing the shelf wasn’t secure in its place. I didn’t notice it was wobbling until it was too late.
Luckily for me, my mom noticed and was able to push me out of the way just in time. That didn’t stop the heavy shelf from falling on her leg, leaving it broken. It was an accident, but because of me, my adventurous mom has been stuck in the West Wing. I’ve been hiding in my corner of the library ever since. I don’t want to risk hurting her, or anyone else, ever again.
Dad keeps trying to get me to visit her, but I can’t bring myself to face what I’ve done. Realistically, I know it’s not totally my fault– I just feel so stupid for putting books on a shelf that wasn’t secured in place yet. If I had waited, my mom would still be up and walking, going on her everyday adventures.
Before I know it I’m covered in tears and snot running down my face. I really need to get a new box of tissues. I get up to do so and accidentally wake up Leora, who I forgot was sleeping at my feet. Of course, she doesn’t care and is just excited for playtime, but I’m not comfortable playing so close to my freestanding bookshelves. I don’t want any more accidents.
I grab Leora’s ball, leash, and waste bags from the box and head out of the library for the first time since the accident. Amber has been nice enough to take care of my dog for me, but I need some sunshine, and time to play with my light. That's the literal translation of Leora’s name. My dad’s dog, Sultan, died right before his puppy litter was born. Mom and Dad gave away most of the puppies to the people in the village where Mom is from– Conques. They let me keep Leora when they saw how happy she made me, plus Dad likes having a dog around.
I grab a box of tissues from the storage closet next to the library. It’s supposed to be only for the castle workers, but I get my own stuff from it all the time. I put the tissues on the stair banister so I can’t forget about them when I come back inside. Leora trots up to me, allowing me to clip her leash on before heading outside. The gardens are big so I still use the leash even though we have gates. I feel safer when she’s next to me.
The late morning air is starting to warm up but there is a cool breeze. Our castle faces east so when I’m up early enough I see a bit of the sunrise as the sun climbs through the sky.
I try to smile as I watch Leora chase the yellow butterflies around the rose garden. If I was in a better mood I’d join her like I usually do.
After a little bit of watching Leora play in the front, I walk her to the back where my favorite seating area is. There’s a bench that fits me, Mom, and Dad. It’s where Mom taught me to read. My favorite part is the perfect view of the sunflowers that surround the heart shaped fountain. I like watching the birds play in the water.
I regret not bringing my book with me to read, but just sitting in the fresh air will be nice too. When Leora and I reach the back, I see a familiar figure in a cast sitting on the bench.
“Mom!” I run to her as quickly as my little legs allow. As I get closer I can see her crutches on the ground, and I can hear Dad reading to her. When I reach them, he puts the book down and they pull me in for a hug as I sit down next to mom. I start crying as soon as I feel her warm embrace. “I didn’t know you would be here! I thought you were stuck in bed!”
Mom wipes away my tears. “Your dad helped a lot. I knew the fresh air and a nice stretch would be good for me. Besides, my leg is starting to feel a little better and you know how I don’t like to be stuck in one place for too long.” She laughs softly.
I don’t really know what to say so I just hug her again and start crying more. I can be such a baby sometimes. My friends don’t cry as much as I do, but I can’t help it. I’ve always had a hard time controlling my emotions.
I feel Leora nudge my leg like she does every time I’m sad and I allow myself to really laugh for the first time in five days.
Dad grabs his yellow handkerchief from his pocket and hands it to Mom. I wait for her to wipe my face so that I don’t get snot in my mouth while talking. “I’m just so happy to see you. I was so worried... I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I promise I was just trying to help.”
“Oh, sweetheart, what happened wasn’t your fault. I know you were just trying to help. I’m just glad I was able to get you out of the way before something worse happened.”
I’m confused about what she means at first, but then I remember that if she wouldn’t have shoved me out of the way, the bookshelf would’ve fallen on my whole body, not just my leg. My mom, being the natural hero she is, was able to get all of me and most of herself out of the way. I forget how strong she can be. The way she’s up and about again after just five days just shows how truly amazing she is. Those stairs couldn’t have been easy. My mom inspires me every day.
“I just feel so stupid. I should’ve been paying more attention. Then all of this could’ve been avoided.” I look down at the tiny stick Leora brought me and throw it for her. The way she runs after it makes me laugh again.
“Sunny.” I jump slightly at my dad’s voice, having almost forgotten he was there. “I’ve felt that way about my life ever since I met your mother.” His eyes started to water. Dad doesn’t normally cry, so it’s a rare thing to see. “But if your mom has taught me anything, it’s that true love and kindness are the most important things to worry about. You showed your love and kindness for your mom by choosing to help her with the project. That bookcase could’ve fallen either way, which would have led to worse problems. What's important is that both you and your mom got back up and didn’t let this bring either of you down.”
Mom nods and tries to hold back a yawn. I want to keep talking, but I know Mom needs to rest, so I thank her and Dad with another hug and watch them go inside.
After they get inside, I allow myself to relax and run around the garden with Leora. Seeing Mom out of bed reminded me how strong she is, and how strong I want to be. I decide that Dad is right. I am only ten, and I am only human. Mistakes are a part of life and I can’t stop that from letting me live mine. I’m going to make more mistakes, that’s impossible to avoid. I just hope no mistakes like the one that hurt my mom ever happens again. I’m glad that I have my family and friends to help me as I work through the phases of the moon. With their help, one day, I can shine as bright as the sun.
