Deforestation

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Have I mentioned I have PTSD? 

Or the fact that I carry anxiety? 

Can you even fathom that in your brain capacity?  

I’m sorry. It’s the sarcasm. It’s the bad luck I was given. It was every time there wasn’t a witness. It was the narcissist. It was the one who said they were a feminist but instead shapeshifted into the rapist.  

Telling me the most beautiful lies while looking into their eyes searching for what I thought was a soul.  

Over time the lack of trust grows and it takes a toll.  

They said it wasn’t their fault so it must have been mine. 

Losing my self-confidence in their addiction to control.    

To tell me they would die for me. 

How sweet. 

But now they’re asking my whereabouts.  

Just let that seep in.  

Do you get what I’m saying or is that the gin talking?  

My bad, it’s the sarcasm again. I should hold my tongue.  

Not in the way they forcefully hold back all the words 

My grasp for oxygen sprung.  

And the fire struck  

It went blazing  

Is this what they call gaslighting?